Blame it on the Bloomin’ Onion. Everything was going just fine until that fateful February night when it showed up at our table at a restaurant that will remain nameless.Though you might be able to guess the name of this Aussie-themed franchise…mate. The first problem with this bloomin’ appetizer was that it was delicious.
So delicious. So delicious that I ate about a meal’s worth of onion before my also delicious cheeseburger showed up later. Of course I ate that, too. And that was the beginning of the second problem.
It was a problem that wouldn’t completely hit until several hours later.
And man, once it hit…it hit.
In fact it hit me directly in the stomach like one of those boxing kangaroos from the land down under.
It was about midnight when I woke up with a stomach ache like I’ve never experienced.
And for hours it continued.
To be honest, it might not have been the Aussie appetizer’s fault though.
The cheeseburger.
The fries.
Even the salad.
It was all a bad idea. See, I didn’t feel that good before the meal, but I didn’t heed the warning signs. I probably needed to be in bed with chicken soup, saltines and re-runs of The Price is Right. (Bob Barker edition).
But I wasn’t.
And it was that Bloomin’ Onion that haunted me throughout the nighttime hours. It was as though visions of the ghostly appetizer were floating over my bed like the Ghost of Indigestion Past.
“Try some more of my deep-fried onion petals, maaaaate.”
“Would you like some Bloomin’ Fried Shrimp or Kookaburra Wings to go along with that, maaaate?”
“No onion,” I muttered. “Leave me alone, onion.”
Though that’s not a direct quote that pretty much sums up the night.
The next day, once the fog had cleared, I knew I needed to make some changes.
I started with apple sauce, plain rice and dry toast. That’s right, toast without butter. It was like I was on Survivor.
After a day or so, I began to add real foods. But since I was still haunted by the onion, I didn’t add too much. I resisted the urge to re-introduce sweets and fast food and well, all that stuff that tastes really, really good. And then something happened. I stopped craving them as much.
Along the way I made a scientific discovery.
If I eat good food, I feel good.
If I eat bad food, I feel bad.
Okay, other scientists have probably already made that connection. And I probably should have picked up on this sooner, seeing as I’m a grown adult of 45 years old.
I’m also a devoted reader to my occasional editorial page neighbor Barry Yedvobnick.
Over the past few years the local doc has been a steady voice of health related wisdom for myself and many readers of The Nugget. And I’m hoping my new lifestyle choices will make him proud.
Not that I’m some kind of health-hero, mind you.
(I was in line at the Whataburger on opening day. And it was awesome.)
But still I’m trying to keep the healthy-related streak alive.
Because, for now, I’m feeling pretty good. And it’s all thanks to that Bloomin’ Onion.
It was a life changing appetizer.
Though, next time, I’ll probably just go with the nachos.
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Matt Aiken is Executive Editor of The Dahlonega Nugget. He can be reached at 706-864-3613 or via email at maiken@thedahloneganugget.com