Have you ever imagined what it would be like to quit your job and abandon your daily responsibilities for a full six months? That’s exactly what Lumpkin resident Kevin Remillard did in 2022 when he walked away from a lucrative career in sales to embark on a 2,198 mile journey of self-discovery and personal healing.
That year Kevin, who also goes by the trail name “Chop Chop,” successfully completed a thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail, all the way from Springer Mountain in Georgia to the summit of Mount Katahdin in Maine.
The achievement is all the more impressive considering that Kevin began with absolutely no camping experience, limited hiking experience and seemingly overwhelming mental health obstacles.
But with the loving support of his wife Elena and dog Remi, who met with him to hike a section of the trail about once per month, and the kindness of some fellow hikers along the way, Kevin was able to persevere.
One of the new friends Kevin met on the trail was nature enthusiast and podcast producer Matthew Podolsky, aka "Birdman," who was creating a miniseries about the Appalachian Trail at the time.
Podolsky asked Kevin if he would like to be featured in the final episode of the series, which addressed the topic of "post-trail depression" and the difficulty of re-integrating into daily life.
“I was very hesitant to share, just because it was a very personal subject. But Birdman has a way of convincing you to do something. He’s a very good negotiator, and he ultimately was just like, ‘What’s worth making such a good story if you’re not willing to share?’” Kevin recalled.
Over the course of many months, Kevin and Elena recorded conversations with Podolsky for Episode 13: The Trail Provides, which was released on June 25 as part of the second season of the Common Land series available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
MENTAL RESET
In 2019, the Remillards moved from Atlanta to Dahlonega, and Kevin began doing some section-hiking on the AT.
But by the start of 2022, he found himself in the midst of a deep and debilitating depression.
He recalled one particular conversation with a thru-hiker at the bottom of Justus Creek on New Year’s Day that left him feeling desperate to escape the daily grind.
On March 28, 2022, he set out on the trail with one friend, very little experience setting up camp and virtually no idea of what lay ahead. All he knew was that he desperately needed a fresh start.
Kevin had been diagnosed with bipolar depression, a mental health condition characterized by rapid shifts in mood, from manic highs to depressive lows.
Following the COVID pandemic, Kevin was taking a total of six or seven prescription medications to combat his depression, anxiety and ADHD, all with overlapping side effects.
He said it felt like he was just throwing darts at the problem.
“I never was a believer that we had the right dosage and/or combination of meds. I tried it for eight to ten years,” Kevin told The Nugget, adding that he realized he needed a “baseline reset.”
While discontinuing depression medication can lead to dangerous side effects, Kevin told his doctor that his intention was to gradually ween himself off his medications.
“I was desperate to feel better, and this was like my final desperation move of, ‘I’m gonna resign, take a break, and I’m gonna go do something that I’ve always wanted to do,’ in the hopes that nature would heal me and I’d find perspective,” Kevin said.
TRAIL FRIENDS
Podolsky’s podcasting journey began back in 2014 with the launch of an ongoing interview series titled Earth to Humans. He also produced a podcast called Dedication Point, related to public land issues in his home state of Idaho, and the first season of the Common Land series.
The second season, including Kevin and Elena’s episode, is expected to air on New Hampshire Public Radio later this summer.
Podolsky and Kevin started their thru-hikes on the same day, but their paths didn’t cross for the first time until they were midway through Virginia.
Kevin said he first met Podolsky, an avid bird aficionado, as the podcaster was recording loon calls.
“He carried this microphone, I think it’s called a parabolic microphone. And he strapped it to his pack, and the first question I asked him was, ‘Yo, dude, what are you carrying?’” he said.
Podolsky told Kevin about his Common Land podcast in case he wanted something to listen to on the trail, and the pair parted ways.
“In Vermont, as I approached the New Hampshire border, I ran into Chop Chop again,” Podolsky recalled. “He was hiking with a few other folks that I knew as well, and a trail family was born. We didn't talk at all about forming our trail family (or tramily), we just all fell into step and continued hiking together.”
The group would stay together for the remaining 500 miles of the trail.
“One of the main things that Chop Chop and I bonded over on the trail was our similar approach to thru-hiking. We kept planning to a minimum and felt that it was important to stay open to new experiences along the way,” Podolsky noted.
Kevin describes it as the “hike your own hike” approach.
“Everybody has their goals and expectations they want to get out of it, and, in my case … I just enjoyed having no commitments, no coordination—No rules,” he said.
“That's one of the great things about the AT,” Podolsky added. “You end up meeting people and becoming close friends with folks who you never would have crossed paths with out in the real world. The sense of community amongst thru-hikers is real: Differences don't seem that important when you're out there. Everyone is on the same mission, and everyone steps up to provide support for those around them.”
Kevin has described that supportive trail atmosphere as “free therapy.”
“I think that just the exercise that I received was so beneficial, but then the therapy of being able to open up to other hikers and talk about why I’m out here, that was probably one of the most beneficial sides, because people were very supportive of it. And I feel like that there’s a stigma around mental health and not everybody comes out and says, you know, ‘I have a challenge,’ or ‘I am vulnerable,’ and I think it’s really kind of time to bring those mental health issues out of the dark and into light. And I felt like the trail allows you to do that with no judgment,” he said.
But Kevin’s journey was also about self-realization, not just external validation.
“Out there, when you’re stripped down to the basics of food, water and shelter, you kind of learn that you were overthinking things. I was overanalyzing, and the anxiety that I had, it just really wasn’t that important,” Kevin said.
POST-TRAIL REALITY
At the end of Podolsky’s podcast, Kevin acknowledged that the inevitable transition back to the “real world” after a lengthy thru-hike can evoke complicated feelings.
“I’ll be the first to tell you: I think about that trail every day,” he told the host.
Fortunately, a major source of stress was removed right away when Kevin returned home to find an e-mail from his former employer waiting.
He had been invited to return to the same company in a new role, with different expectations and challenges.
Three years removed from his great adventure, Kevin is down to one medication.
“I tried to get off that one, too,” he admitted. “And, long-term, I think that the goal is still to be able to attack it without medication. But I’m not there yet, and I’ve recognized that.”
When Kevin was asked if he would ever attempt the AT again, Elena quickly chimed in.
“He wants to do it so soon. The challenge is we have a three-year-old souvenir from that journey, so it’s a little hard to time it,” she said, referring to the couple’s young son, Walker.
But the Remillards are both confident that Walker will live up to his name as he gets older so that the three can make hiking a family tradition.
“It’s his destiny,” Elena said.